Hold the Chicken!
Remember the scene in “Five Easy Pieces” where Jack Nicholson wants an omelet and toast and the waitress tells him, “No substitutions!” And he says, “Hold the Chicken!”
Well, I say “Hold the Chicken and pass the MAYO!”
Mayonnaise is one of those natural beauty gems that is always in your kitchen. It’s great for a sandwich, and it’s also great for moisturizing your skin and your hair. The egg and the oil in your mayo are two great ingredients for making homemade hair conditioner to get rid of the frizzies. You can use your mayo on your elbows and heels to moisturize them after a walk in the hot, dusty streets. Or you can do a daily massage of your face with a small amount of mayo (remember to always massage your face with circular, upward motions and don’t forget to rinse the mayo off!). And now that it’s summer, keep some mayo handy to take the sting out of sunburn (but all you naturally beautiful women should know that too much sun is not a good thing – for natural health or for natural beauty!).
Dry Hair perks up with a do-it-yourself hair conditioner made out of mayo. So if you’re like me and you have dry, dull hair, grab that jar of mayo and slather it on! Take a handful of mayonnaise and apply it to the hair shaft, taking care not to rub it too hard into your hair roots. Too much mayo or too frequent conditioning will leave you with an oily, greasy head of hair. Leave the mayo on your hair for 15 minutes. If your hair is really, really dry and thick and frizzy, you might leave it on for a bit longer. Put a shower cap on your head to prevent dripping. When you’re done, rinse your hair with warm water to get all the mayo out and you will have a head of lustrous, luminous locks (oops, L was yesterday!)
In case you don’t remember — Here’s that most famous (or infamous) scene with Jack Nicholson in FIVE EASY PIECES (1970):
“Dupea: OK, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A number two, chicken sal san, hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Dupea: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.
Waitress (spitefully): You want me to hold the chicken, huh?”